LIVEBLOGGING KARL

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1.01 AM Karl is still hanging upside down in the closet.
1.01 AM Karl is making noises. They are not human.
1.05 AM Around 40 press have cottoned on to Karl's mood, and have now started camping outside the closet.
1.08 AM We just saw a flash. A photographer kept going "KARL! KARL!". There was a dark flash; a move of a bowtie; and the photographer was gone. Closet heard shutting.
1.10 The carcass of the photographer turned out. A flash; saw a high collar. Carcass has "DEMODE" written on it.
1.15 Karl heard muttering. Sounds like a witch. A German witch.
1.20 The media pack has increased to 500. Anna has turned up, demanding to get in. Has vodka.
1.25 Media pack appears to be drunk. Somebody asked me for an autograph!
1.26 That means my cover is blown! Oops.
1.27 "You're an Yves Saint Laurent lookalike, aren't you?"
1.28 Sigh of relief
1.30 They're trying to cook food in here! Horrors!
1.31 "Cooking food is so demode. Everything should be raw"- some fashionista
1.31 "What, you mean you eat??"- Another fashionista.
1.35 Brad arrives. Has kilt on.
1.40 Brad talking. Has kilt off.
1.45 1000 press now. For some reason the Olsens are possibly here. I say possibly because I can never tell between them and the homeless ex models down the street.
1.50 Oh, they are the homeless ex models. Here's the Olsens now.
1.51 What is that smell? Trash?
1.55 The closet has transported itself elsewhere. More press and fashionistas drunk. Dr. Who theme playing. Why do I know this?
2.00 The closet is back where it was. Karl can be heard sketching in it. Anna on floor, passed out.
2.01 Karl is walking out. We hear the thumping of his boots; we hear thunder. Stay tuned, with Yves Saint Laurent: The dead Frenchman.